Episode 099: Finally, A Very Happy Ending

By Help Person|December 25, 2018|Show notes, Uncategorized|0 comments

      Episode 099: Finally, A Very Happy Ending with special guests Barry Weisenberg and The Girlfriend

Barry Weisenberg, Comedian, King of the One-Liners, and winner of Las Vegas Comedy Festival 2006 returns to LLD podcast! This time he brings his girlfriend and we hear about why their relationship works. How they handle comedy, co-parenting, and compliments. It may take some of longer than others to find a great relationship, but they do exist.

Links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/barry.weisenberg
Instagram: @barryweisenberg

Full Transcript: 

Leanne: 00:05 Welcome to Life Lafter Divorce episode 99. I am your host Leanne Linsky

The Boyfriend: 00:10 and I'm the boyfriend.

Leanne: 00:11 Welcome back to another wonderful week of

The Boyfriend: 00:18 Divorce. I had ya there.

Leanne: 00:18 Yeah you did. Hey, while you're out there tuning in, make sure you rate, review and subscribe. Give us some feedback and also check out the website at lifelafterdivorce.com. I think we've sold out about everything in the store, so you're probably not gonna find anything left, so I hope you found something for your loved ones for the holidays. But Hey, what we do still have his life coaching sessions and that's a fantastic way to start the year off right. So when you book your session with yours, truly, your first one is free.

The Boyfriend: 00:51 It's fancy too because you were. How did they do it? They go in there, they click a link and then the link does what?

Leanne: 00:56 it takes you to my calendar so that you can find a time and date that works for you. And it's an hour one on one session. We can either do it live in person if you're in the area or we can do it via zoom and I'll send you a link.

The Boyfriend: 01:08 Well, what does this calendar thing? So it just shows up a bunch of days in time

Leanne: 01:12 Oh, long time ago it's how people track time boyfriend.

The Boyfriend: 01:18 Wow.

Leanne: 01:19 Yes. It's called a calendar. So not to be confused with a colander. Which strings thing.

The Boyfriend: 01:27 So, so they, you, you do, they select days and times and they're just a day at a time

Leanne: 01:32 and then time, time zone, the whole thing. And then there's a little question for you and yeah, it's pretty easy.

The Boyfriend: 01:38 See I don't have to go to this thing, I can just hey, coach me.

Leanne: 01:41 that's right. And that's exactly how he does it. Okay. So yeah, so make sure that happens. And yeah, and I hope you guys are getting through the holidays, we've had a lot of experts with their tips and how to reduce your stress, especially if you have kids in your co-parenting and trying to figure out the hectic schedule with your partner or your ex-partner. I'm kind of, you know what this is the, we're getting to the very end of the year here and I'm very excited because I think this is, I think we need to end on a high note with a happy ending,

The Boyfriend: 02:16 Really?

Leanne: 02:16 not that happy ending for your and that would be a different vibe guests, but, but I'm, I'm really excited because this week, you know, it's the end of the year and its kind of like I personally can't wait for this year to be done.

The Boyfriend: 02:31 I think there's probably a lot of people out there in the same boat. I certainly want this year to be finished.

Leanne: 02:39 Yeah, certainly. I like and I feel like I know that the minute January one happens, you know, we just don't immediately forget about this year and then everything's great and rainbows and leprechauns and all those kinds of things. But at the same time, I feel like it's an opportunity to look at something for a fresh start and that's exciting to me, you know,

The Boyfriend: 02:58 A fresh start a little bit of reflection and moving on, moving forward.

Leanne: 03:03 Yeah, exactly. So anyway, I, I don't know, and speaking of fresh starts, I think that's why I'm excited about today's guest. We invited back Barry Weisenberg who was on a couple episodes ago and you know, in that episode I'm kind of laughing because our mutual friend Kathleen who is on another episode, She, she pointed out, I kinda like how Barry interviewed you on it, he kind of flipped that on you. And I'm like, yeah, you know what he did and and Barry is really fun to have around. We talked all about comedy and a whole different thing, but this time we get a little bit more personal with and we kind of find

The Boyfriend: 03:45 We learn a lot about Barry in this episode, which was good and we learned a lot of good things about Barry in this episode.

Leanne: 03:49 Yeah. And I just think that I'm excited that this is our last episode of the year. Well, besides our year-end review coming up, but with a guest where we kind of, it's a happy ending. So I think we should just get back to it and get into our guest here because we also have a surprise guest and Barry brings his girlfriend known as The Girlfriend inspired by the boyfriend. So without further ado, Mr. Barry Weisenberger and The Girlfriend.

Leanne: 04:43 So Barry, welcome back to Life Lafter divorce podcast. And the girlfriend.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep99aBarryWeisenberg: 04:47 Yes, I bought her, brought her along because she has, she has a lot to say.

Leanne: 04:52 Yeah. Yes. She's, she's sitting way back far away from the light because she's convinced she's not gonna have anything to say. So that's okay. It's kind of like The Boyfriend.

The Boyfriend: 05:00 Alright. Yeah. I get little things in here and there. Yes

Leanne: 05:02 you do. And this is exciting because this is another in-person episode and I liked this because on the boyfriends here, right? Sure. Yeah. Got deadly. So very. I'm glad you're back because the last episode you were on, you kind of did interview me. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know, you see how you.

BarryWeisenberg: 05:24 I know because I'm self-conscious and I don't always like to talk about myself

Leanne: 05:29 and I and our friend Kathleen. Hi Kathleen. Shout out to Kathleen. So Kathleen was like, I love how Barry turned it around and interviewed you. I was like, yeah, I know. I thought about that the whole way home. So that was very slick. But this time, this time we get to. We get to focus on Barry. Okay.

BarryWeisenberg: 05:45 Barry is a very complex individual with very low self-esteem, but I must have done something right and we'll cover this or cover the progression because got to meet The Girlfriend who is phenomenal and we've been together or two and a half, over two and a half years and just everything is just magnificent. It's exactly what I always wanted when I was in my twenties and thirties. It just shows it's never too late for it to happen.

Leanne: 06:16 Wow. How do you feel about that girlfriend?

The Girlfriend: 06:20 He's very complimentary. Very nice to have somebody talking nice about you and sweet about you and let you know that you're important to him

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep99bBarryWeisenberg: 06:30 because she went through a bad time herself and her relationship, not getting what she wanted and now that I've met her, I'm not only making sure that she gets the thing. I've gotten what I wanted and I want to make sure she gets what she wants, which is love and affection and I can't give her enough

Leanne: 06:54 and a new car. I'm just throwing that out there.

BarryWeisenberg: 06:57 A refrigerator, a trip to Paris, you'll fly few.

Leanne: 07:04 That's awesome. So Girlfriend. I'm kind of curious. So were you married before?

The Girlfriend: 07:11 Yes.

Leanne: 07:12 Scooch up to it's not going to buy it and nobody knows who you are because you're doing the boyfriend thing by going by the girlfriend tonight so you won't buy. I swear this is not a microphone from a comedy show, so it's safe to touch anytime in a comedy show. So you, you were divorced before?

The Girlfriend: 07:30 Yes, I was married for over 20 years and then divorce for a few years and then I met Barry and we've been a very nice

BarryWeisenberg: 07:40 We met online.

Leanne: 07:40 Which site?

BarryWeisenberg: 07:42 Can I go ahead and mention match, right. Match Dot Com.

Leanne: 07:46 We want to sponsorship.

BarryWeisenberg: 07:48 Okay. I tried other. I tried over the years we've tried a lot of other dating sites and I'm very shy. I know that sounds odd, but you know how comics are only on stage do we blossom. So I was very shy, but I went on match.com. She reached out to me.

Leanne: 08:09 Did you wink at them? Isn't that what match has like winks or something?

The Girlfriend: 08:12 No, I wrote to him. Oh, okay.

BarryWeisenberg: 08:14 And I answered back. We exchanged a few, few, a few emails and we agreed to meet and as soon as we met I went, oh my God, this is just terrific. And everything about her was just magnificent. She was gorgeous. She is gorgeous. She was talkative, funny. when we showed up, I had already ordered a drink for her. She was very thankful about that. Everything just went great. And then I said let's meet again and she was agreeable to it and the only. It was a minor snag. The only minor snag that happened after the second time, right was your father after the first of the first time her father had passed away. And so I didn't know the proper protocol. How long do you wait for someone to get through mourning the loss of a loved one until you can call and I didn't want to call right away because I thought, God, that might be rude or tacky, and then I think you

The Girlfriend: 09:20 I called you after

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep99cBarryWeisenberg: 09:21 she had advice from her mother says, give them a call and thank God she did and we've been going out of it.

Leanne: 09:30 Wow.

BarryWeisenberg: 09:30 And it's just everything that I could ever dream of. Yeah, I, I, I, I couldn't fit in. I believe it or not, even though I grew up with low self-esteem and a high school. Oh my God, I never thought I'd be with any women at all. I was so in my mind so ugly. And over the years I dated different women and many were great. Not all of them, but as soon as I met her I went, she's, she's at and two and a half years later we're still together.

Leanne: 10:02 So girlfriend. What did you think when you first met Barry? Scoot into the microphone so we can hear this.

The Girlfriend: 10:10 He was cute and he was funny and he was very interested in what I had to say and kept asking me questions, so it was nice and we just, we just got along. We'd been there like the same concerts like 20 years ago and stuff, and we had the same ideas about things

BarryWeisenberg: 10:25 And she's Jewish and she's a great, great conversation list

The Girlfriend: 10:30 and I'm a horrible cook and he thinks I'm the best cook. He thinks I'm the greatest thought.

BarryWeisenberg: 10:35 I think she's phenomenal. Okay. So wait, what is a favorite dish that she makes? She makes wonderful eggs. Magnificent eggs, great breakfast. she also makes me rice seriously. I am free. You have no clue.

The Boyfriend: 10:57 What did you eat before you met her?

BarryWeisenberg: 11:02 TV dinners. I survived on TV dinners. I would go to the market, buy TV dinners, throw them in the car because they're fast, right? He'd say they're done and she's, oh,

The Girlfriend: 11:14 serve him a glass of water. He's just so thankful. Wow. I bought him a sweater, all of this. And he's like, nobody ever bought me. I go, no, no girlfriends ever brought you a gift before? And he's acted like no,

BarryWeisenberg: 11:27 but I've had those but not, not close that close. That fit clothes that are smart. That looks good. Oh, No. She. She does. She does. She's done everything for me. Stuff that I couldn't do for myself. She's done.

Leanne: 11:42 Wow.

BarryWeisenberg: 11:42 Just magnificent.

The Girlfriend: 11:44 Now he's going to look really good for other women because I've dressed him well and groomed his hair. He's out. He's of the eighties. He was in the eighties

BarryWeisenberg: 11:58 I still have this habit of wearing button-down shirts with the shirt open to here from the seventies. Oh Wow. And she cracks me on that.

Leanne: 12:07 Yeah, that's good. Thank you.

The Girlfriend: 12:08 I button up.

Leanne: 12:09 Thank you. Look at The boyfriend,

The Boyfriend: 12:13 he's like, does he agree with all this? Or I have an eight.

The Girlfriend: 12:17 I figure I have an eight to 10-year window because he's had relationships for eight to 10 years. Just one after another. So I said, we'll see how long my record. We'll see what he thinks after eight to 10 years.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep99dLeanne: 12:28 So you've had eight to 10-year relationships? Oh yeah. Actually, yeah.

BarryWeisenberg: 12:32 Because, like I said, in high school, I never thought I'd amount to anything with women, but, and I used to say to my brother, I'm never going to get into space. And then my brother says, remember, I mentioned that in your thirties or forties, and it just started to happen and I don't know what I did differently, but it started to happen and I never really in all these years, never had a one night stand. I would always have relationships. I'm the longest one was 10 years. and I said, I, I always treated women, like, you know, they weren't just playthings. I want it to be in a relationship with them because I love, you know, being with one person and I never tried to multi-date. I would always try to stay with one person. And after the last one who I had my son with a lasted about 10 years and I met her.

Leanne: 13:27 Wow. All right.

BarryWeisenberg: 13:30 I'm thrilled.

Leanne: 13:31 So now you're dressing nice, nicer.

BarryWeisenberg: 13:35 I look, she even said the other night, she goes, you look so good on stage. The other night, so everything I. Oh, oh, she's phenomenal. I come home from work. She's happy to see me. I mean it's just. How could this be any better?

Leanne: 13:50 That's great.

BarryWeisenberg: 13:50 It's just wonderful. And you're eating, you're eating great nutritional foods. I'm eating better. I'm sleeping better. Everything is exactly what I had hoped to have when I was in high school. So this is what I want now I have it.

Leanne: 14:07 Yeah. What about your girlfriend? Like how has this changed for you? How is, how has this been like for you? What are your pros?

BarryWeisenberg: 14:17 You, she's looking at it. I know she knows what she loves. We were talking about this earlier today and we've, we periodically talk about this. There are certain shows on TV that she loves to watch, like 90-day fiance and married at first sight.

Leanne: 14:35 We've seen the one where they judge each other's wedding. Okay. Yeah, I see that. That's insane.

BarryWeisenberg: 14:40 And what she wants is what I'm happy to give her. She wanted love and affection. When she was with her ex, she couldn't say certain things without him kicking her under the table saying, don't say that. I love it when she's. When she talks, she's made a lot of my comic friends and so sometimes I run out of things to say she can carry that conversation. I love someone that can do that. I love someone that doesn't mind making decisions for, for both of us. I love it that she loves affection, which I love giving her. Her husband just stopped giving that to her and Kinda treated her badly. I shouldn't say kind of did treat her badly and I'm. I'm only happy to say I always say to her, his loss is my gain because I'm with the most terrific person I've ever met.

Leanne: 15:30 Wow. What do you think of this boyfriend?

The Boyfriend: 15:33 That's fantastic.

BarryWeisenberg: 15:34 Yeah. It's just incredible. I am so happy.

Leanne: 15:37 I know the boyfriend's thinking. I think of all those things about Leanne as well.

BarryWeisenberg: 15:42 We constantly tell each other constantly something wrong with him.

The Girlfriend: 15:47 He can't see. He thinks I'm so magnificent and I go, there's something wrong with him,

BarryWeisenberg: 15:54 and every time someone will say that maybe hasn't talked to her in a while, we're one of my comic friends. I'll say, oh, we've been together two and a half years, so, so how is it going? They'll go, oh, it's just magnificent. And I constantly use that word to describe her. Magnificent because it is, I mean it's, it's, and we liked the same things. We think the same way. I. The only thing that she wants me to be careful is not to overperform is not to perform too much comedy because then it takes away from time that I could be spending with her.

Leanne: 16:24 Oh, right.

BarryWeisenberg: 16:25 she's got. She's got a good point.

Leanne: 16:27 Yeah, that makes sense. So I'm kind of wondering like you said he must be blind and can't hear because he's given you all these compliments. Right. Is that unusual for you?

The Girlfriend: 16:37 Well, it's hard. I don't think women are used to so many compliments and stuff. So I mean, it's nice. It's really nice that she likes the way I look. He likes what I, where he likes, you know, whatever I'm doing. He's like, Oh, you, you did a great job with this.

BarryWeisenberg: 16:51 So I'm very complimentary because she deserves it. When we first met, as she walked in the door, I went, oh my God. She looked even better than her profile picture. And, as I said, I had really warm fuzzies and I had great feelings. I said, boy, I want to see her again. And it's just,

The Girlfriend: 17:14 we get along really good. We don't fight. We don't really argue about things. He's very flexible. He's so. He is so easy to be with. He's the easiest person to be with.

BarryWeisenberg: 17:23 When I grew up, my mom said two things. She said, never lose your sense of humor and never be inflexible. Always try to be flexible. And I remember those two things and she says a lot of things that cracked me up. Every once in a while she'll do my monologue and it just cracks me up to no, no. And she does it better than I do. I told her, you should go on stage. You'll get bigger laughs than me too.

Leanne: 17:50 You're doing his whole comedy set sometimes,

The Girlfriend: 17:52 but it's not as good as his, but it's, it cracks them up, so it's nice.

BarryWeisenberg: 17:59 I have a son I think I mentioned and he's just great. He's, he's the love of my life and he's terrific and great and smart. He needs to do a little bit better job in this reading, but he's very, very good at math and I love him.

BarryWeisenberg: 18:16 I was in a relationship there with 10 years. That lasted about 10 years. We started to go our separate ways. I feel bad about it because I made a lot of mistakes and I'm sorry that it happened, but at the same time, out of that came something good.

Leanne: 18:32 Right?

BarryWeisenberg: 18:33 So they say, well, I know it's a cliche. They sell one door, closes another opens in this case. It did. It really did.

Leanne: 18:41 It's so nice that you see that. I'm wondering, is your son, is he like you were growing up?

BarryWeisenberg: 18:46 Yes. And he makes he, he's a, he's a mini-me. Really? Yeah. He, he's a better-looking version of me. Thank God he doesn't have buck teeth. He has blonde hair. He's extremely good looking

Leanne: 18:58 But you don't have buck teeth. Really?

BarryWeisenberg: 19:00 Yeah. I used to constantly get razzed if you'd seen pictures of me in growing up.

BarryWeisenberg: 19:06 I looked. My teeth somehow looked like the size of an airplane. It was pretty bad and I was very, very self-conscious of it. I constantly got teased no matter where I went and it really bothered me.

Leanne: 19:19 So when it comes to your son, like how, how have you talked to him about those things or how did, when you see things that are similar?

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep99eBarryWeisenberg: 19:27 When I see things like I used to get and I'm not making this up, I used to constantly get beat up constantly and I've seen little other little kids try to pick on him. He doesn't take any crap. Yeah. He's a fighter. I was not so he already has that ingrained. He doesn't let anyone pick on him. He's. He fights back, so I'm glad to see that, you know, not that I wanted to be violent. I just want to know that he can stand up for himself.

BarryWeisenberg: 19:56 He's come to a lot of my shows. He's run on stage after I've gotten done. He grabs the mic, he doesn't know what to say, but he's done that.

Leanne: 20:05 So he's like a lot of comments,

BarryWeisenberg: 20:09 he actually has better material than most of the comics that are out there. He's very funny. He's very cute. No matter where we go. Everybody always says, your son is so, so cute or so good looking guy to think. Thank God my, my ex-wife, my ex-girlfriend fooled around on me because that's where I think he got the look. He's just a very, very good looking eight-year-old and

Leanne: 20:34 he's eight. So he's not into girls yet. Really?

BarryWeisenberg: 20:37 No, no, no. I mean they're his, his buddies and you know, but no, he's, he's, he's right now with all his buddies and that's more important to them as girls now. Not yet, but in my opinion, he's going to be a lady killer.

Leanne: 20:51 Yeah. So now I'm curious about that. So what would you like to see here? How would you like to see him differently than you or, or the same?

BarryWeisenberg: 21:00 Well, I already see that. As I said, everybody just gravitates to him. He has incredible charisma and people just, I mean he ever since his birth, he's gotten nothing but gifts for people. I mean everybody. I am a sucker for him. I buy anything he wants, but other people give him gifts. So yes, he's a little bit spoiled, but he's, in my opinion, I think he's. He's gonna be in for a great life. He's so good looking and in this society there seems to be a bias toward good looking people and I really think that that's going to play in his favor,

Leanne: 21:40 but what can he learn from what you experienced?

BarryWeisenberg: 21:43 Well, I'm, I'm trying to and he already has. He cracks me up so he has already has a good sense of humor and I'm trying to. I don't have to do too much to instill that in him. He has that, but I grew up with a certain mistrust of people because I always got bullied and I am telling him, you can't always assume that everybody is a good person. There are a lot of evil people in the world and I do talk to them and say, I want you to avoid this in life and don't do that and be careful with this. So I do try to pass along my life issues that I've experienced and the solutions to him as best I can. I love them. I want them. I want them to have a great life.

Leanne: 22:30 Yeah. Oh, so I'm wondering. So now the girlfriend, you've met your son and that's working out. Okay.

BarryWeisenberg: 22:41 Yeah, I mean, yeah, sometimes he gets angry at her because she'll say, okay, I want you to read this because we're always trying to get his reading to be better. And he gets upset. He goes, I don't want to do this. And I always say to him, oh, alright, Simon, don't be so rude. Come on. She's trying to be good for you. She loves you. She's bending over backward for you. as he's starting to get older, he's now talking to her a little bit more and being thankful though that is a way to go. but she's done a very good job with them. She's very good for him.

Leanne: 23:19 What's it like co-parenting with your ex? How does that work?

BarryWeisenberg: 23:24 Thank God that because I know nothing about raising kids and when we had the baby I knew nothing, absolutely nothing. I was terrified. I wouldn't even hold him. I think I held him maybe once I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. So I really pushed it on her and she, she really did all the work. I'm embarrassed to say it, but I was terrified. I didn't, I didn't want to drop him. I was afraid to hurt him. I was afraid that I put them on top of my car and forget him. Yeah.

Leanne: 23:56 And people have done that.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep99fBarryWeisenberg: 23:57 I know and I was terrified and I'm also terrified even now because he's so cute that, you know, there's a lot of people out there that would want to kidnap him or something. And I'm always, always on the lookout for anyone that I think might, you know, I constantly look at it no matter where we go, I go, where are you, where are you? So I get worried about him.

Leanne: 24:18 Yeah. So is it when you guys split up because you weren't married, so this is different, right? So you don't have all these legal things in the way you didn't have to. How did you figure out your custody or your co-parenting?

BarryWeisenberg: 24:33 We just talked about it.

Leanne: 24:35 Yeah.

BarryWeisenberg: 24:35 And I mean that that conversation went well. Yes, there were some bad moments as we were starting to break up, but she always knew that I couldn't raise him and I knew that I couldn't. And sometimes now I look back and I said, well, if I had raised him I would do some things differently, but I have to be grateful to her for doing that job.

Leanne: 25:00 Yeah

BarryWeisenberg: 25:00 She's done a great job.

Leanne: 25:02 You've been an active parent.

BarryWeisenberg: 25:04 What's that?

Leanne: 25:05 When you say she raised in primarily, did you just see them on weekends and things like that?

BarryWeisenberg: 25:10 I still try to see him when I can, but primarily it's weekends and my ex had had four other kids, actually five. And so she knew how to be a parent. Right. And she just did a great job and it's something that I couldn't have done. I would've been, I would've been a horrible parent if I try to raise one myself. I was afraid I didn't know what to do. One night when he was a baby, he had a really high temperature and I started panicking and I said, oh my God, should we take them into, we take him to the Er, should. No, no, no. I know how to handle this. And by morning he was fine. I mean, it just goes to show. I, I couldn't have stayed up all night with a baby then gone into work the next day. So she did a lot of work. I'm, I'm pretty embarrassed to say that I didn't really do a good job with them. Yeah. But now I'm doing a much better job. You know, he's, he and I are buddies, you know, we spent a lot of time together. I'll take them to the source. We score around, we wrestle, he's great. But I did not do a good job early on.

Leanne: 26:15 Yeah. What did your girlfriend, do you have kids?

The Girlfriend: 26:18 Yes,

Leanne: 26:19 you do. Okay. Are they older? Two kids. Young adults. Okay. So how is it being? So have you been in a relationship with somebody else who's had kids before? Yeah. Okay. So how does that feel like work for you? Like what has, what have you learned from it?

BarryWeisenberg: 26:37 Well thank God because she has kids, she knows how to know how to raise a kid and how to talk to him. So thank God for that

Leanne: 26:47 because you have insight like you've already done this and so now, right? Is it hard? You're kind of know she's smiling and she's very shy but like I'm guessing that because I, I've dated people with kids and it, I've found that I've never dated anybody long enough to like being in a two year relationship with somebody with kids or anything like that, but just dated and I've met their kids and that was hard because you just get to know them and it's like okay, but my role is not their parents so you really have to take a step back and you have to step back, shut your mouth and wait for the parent to do the parenting.

The Girlfriend: 27:25 That's what I've had to do and I tried to step in I think too soon or whatever and I didn't get good response from him and so now I've learned, I just kinda stepped back and have their weekends together and let them go off all day and I don't go with it. Used to be like I want to go to lunch with them now. Now it's like if he has, he's like, just take them out all day, just does what you want so I'm not doing something. Because when he's, if he misbehaves, I want to jump in and say something and then I realized I shouldn't. Barry, he needs to do it, not me.

BarryWeisenberg: 27:57 Yeah, I do take her advice because I know nothing. Yeah. And she's been there. She's done that. So I do listen to her a lot.

The Girlfriend: 28:05 The things where I want to like grab him, he's going to fall in the water so I'll do that or something.

Leanne: 28:11 But, but other than that,

The Girlfriend: 28:13 but then I'm realizing it's not my job to do it. It's his job.

BarryWeisenberg: 28:18 Right. And I dated before, her idea of women who had kids, but it was just what, what, what, what's been said I couldn't, I didn't try to relate the kids is like I'm stepping in now and I'm going to be her parent. I just related to him as person to person, which was a better role because I'm not trying to step in as their, as their parent, you know. but even though I dated women with kids, I still knew nothing about them. And like I said, I was terrified

Leanne: 28:49 What scares you most about, about kids. Like because you said a couple times eight, you're terrified, but like mostly about what, what is it that you're most worried about?

BarryWeisenberg: 28:57 I didn't know how to care for babies and I was so afraid that I might hit him or, or drop him or not do the right thing. One time my son got sick and had high temperature and I almost gave him adult Tylenol and I think it was her or my ex said, no, no, no, you got to go out and get children's Tylenol. I never thought of that. And just that one possible mistake alone alerted me to say, oh my God, can you imagine how many other mistakes I might've made? So thank God I, I, I thought it was better to just away from it and let her raise them because she knew what to do more than I could. And to be honest, looking back, I think that was probably the better decision.

Leanne: 29:51 But it sounds like you are close to him anyway.

BarryWeisenberg: 29:53 Yes. But some things happened that it could have been closer, but, you know, now I'm making up for lost time. Right. You know, and even though we're buddies, everyone, you know, I still have to be the parent and say, no, you can't have this, you can't do that. And you know, he has his way of moping and sulking and then I feel bad. And of course I give in, but I'm looking at girlfriend because she's like smiling again. Like I'm like getting the car to go somewhere and I'm the one saying, do you have your shoes? Let's go get his shoes. We shouldn't drive without shoes. And he's not very happy. The son's not very happy with me because he'd rather go without shoes and then he wouldn't have to wear the shoes. Right. You know, so I'm, I'm the bad guy. No, and I'm

The Girlfriend: 30:44 because you're being practical and yeah, I'm like,

BarryWeisenberg: 30:48 he loves the IPAD and if I take it away from them when we go to bed around 8:00 or so, he moves snow. I want to stay up. And there's times where he stayed up on a school night till two and then he goes to sleep the next 40. He's absolutely exhausted and then the x will call me and go, did he stay up? And I go, yeah. Okay. I gave into her. I gave in. See I'm not a good parent. I give into him too much, but I love him. So I want him to have everything. So it's a double-edged sword. Right. You know, I, I could be better. when I was with the ex, I did go to one parenting class and that really didn't, didn't? No. It didn't prepare me for everything. No, no. I should have gone to about 50 and all the guys, the other guys I've talked to in there, they had no clue what to do. They're just, Oh, we're all just sitting here as we all saying. Do you know what to do? Was this parenting class in Riverside?

Leanne: 31:47 Oh, okay. I was gonna say it wasn't at the Improv. Was it telling you how to parent like comics?

BarryWeisenberg: 31:54 So, so, known to be giving good advice, you know,

Leanne: 31:57 so I'm kinda curious. So girlfriend. I'm sorry. So boyfriend and I, we don't have any kids and a lot of times when we see other people with kids or something, it's easy for us to be like, why aren't they telling their kid, you know, sit down. Like why are the kids climbing all over the plugins, wire the kids running around screaming like a bunch of crazy people and stuff? Do you ever as, as being the parent coming in and you've already raised your kids seeing this like, and I'm not trying, I'm putting you on the spot. Either answer or choose. Choose your own adventure, choose your own adventure episode. But like, do you find it hard when you see something like you're like, I would never let my kids do that.

Life Lafter Divorce Question of the week ep99The Girlfriend: 32:35 Yeah. Except now I know after having kids sometimes you can't quite them down and you can keep them from running all over the place. So you can see kids do run all over the place in certain restaurants. Maybe you let them run a little and then you go and you take them out or something. So you don't disturb the other people. But you realize they're not. If you see a family where they're all sitting there so nice and eating and quiet. I mean that's wonderful. That's unusual. I think so

Leanne: 32:57 I did because my dad would give us the eye and that was enough for like, okay, we won't move,

BarryWeisenberg: 33:03 but see I did what you, what you said I would before I had a kid, I looked at other kids. I go, how come they're just not, you know, putting the baby deer is doing this or spanking him. It's not that way. You know when you're, when you're the parent, it's different. You can't live someone else's life. Right. So

Leanne: 33:21 that's what I'm curious about, like how has it changed from your perspective because you became a parent, how old were you when became a parent? Can I ask these eight and I'm 62, so 54? Yeah. So that's late, much later than a lot of people. Do you think that was part of it?

BarryWeisenberg: 33:39 Probably. I never really thought that I'd meet anyone who wanted to have a child with me and that I didn't. I was just shocked. But yeah, it was pretty late in life. and I think that you know, I think as people get older they supposedly are supposed to get wiser. I think I became more stupid, so I do, I think I became more stupid. So having him at 54 maybe I would've done better in my thirties but it, but it never happened. But, I, I will be honest. So I can't now that having, having had them, I can't imagine my life without them. Like I can't imagine my life without her either. You know, I was so miserable before and now I'm so happy and I've got a son, I've got two terrific relationships. Oh my God,

Leanne: 34:28 well, and that, okay. So I don't know how old girlfriend is and I'm not going to be rude in a berry. I'm just rude to you. But like, okay, so you've already raised kids. Is it hard now to have a younger kid around or is it easier maybe because you're like, oh, I get it. I know exactly what's going on.

The Girlfriend: 34:44 It's, it's hard, you know, it's hard to say because I've had kids, I enjoy kids so it's like we can go to the museum. I like doing certain kids, so that's. So that's kind of Nice to have him and let's take them here and let's

Leanne: 34:58 may be easier, more relaxed in a sense because you've kind of experienced.

The Girlfriend: 35:03 I've done it. I've done, yeah. and I don't have complete control so I don't have to worry about it and times when he's running around or I can go and I can shut myself, shut the door and I don't have to deal with them, you know? And I, it doesn't wake me up in the middle of the night, you know,

BarryWeisenberg: 35:20 by the way, speaking of the arts. I know it's not a good segue. Is a phenomenal dancer really. And her daughter went to the high school of Performing Arts School, has a phenomenal singing voice. And so her, both of her kids are, are, and they're terrific and great. Great, great kids by the way.

Leanne: 35:51 So they probably appreciate you and your comedy.

BarryWeisenberg: 35:54 Her son. Not really, but her daughter does because she's little, she's older and she loves the whole arts. And growing up she used to, oh my gosh. He was phenomenal. So yeah, she had, she seen me perform many times and she says, I really like your jokes. And I always tried jokes out on her and she's, she's great. So our children are very, very, very, very smart. Very performance minded, no. What about your son as he performance minded as well? Not yet. He was in a school play for Thanksgiving and he sat in the back. So I don't think he's there yet. We'll see what happens when he gets older and whatever happens, happens. I would love it if he went into the theater or stand up or brain surgery, but

Leanne: 36:43 either one or the other, you know, only two. No, that's awesome. See what happens. I'm excited. So this was kind of unexpected that you brought the girlfriend.

BarryWeisenberg: 36:51 I didn't expect to be part of this, but she's so great that I knew that if I started talking to talking to her, she might be inclined to join in. So I thank you very much

Leanne: 37:00 and I'm glad that we got to meet her because last week we heard about or now as we put the last episode, we heard so much about how it had been so difficult for you to find somebody else. I love this because this is also one of our last episode two, the year and this is a very uplifting note on the fact that after all these years of really, really hard times in dating and life and just kind of finding yourself and finding your voice that you have a really wonderful life.

BarryWeisenberg: 37:30 Yeah, we do and I, I can't. I very, very much appreciate the fact that you asked me to come back because I enjoyed the first episode and that was very nice what you just said and yeah, I think it's a great way to end it. I am so much in love. It's just incredible.

Leanne: 37:48 That's really nice and that gives us, that gives, I think so many of us hope.

The Girlfriend: 37:52 Yeah, you have second chances. I'm, you know, having a great life and a few years ago I never would have thought I'd have a great life again and meet a great guy and be so happy.

Leanne: 38:01 Yeah. So look at that boyfriend to a beautiful movie

The Boyfriend: 38:11 in the basement,

Leanne: 38:11 Yes, in the basement, but it. But it. But it is, it's true. I mean here you went through a divorce after 20 years in Barry, you spent all your life looking for somebody

BarryWeisenberg: 38:22 and now it's happened and it's happened when I wasn't looking for it, it just all there. It was because I never thought would happen

Leanne: 38:28 and you probably wouldn't have appreciated each other the same way if you had met 20 years prior.

BarryWeisenberg: 38:32 We've talked, we've talked about that and we both agree on that. You're right.

Leanne: 38:37 So this is awesome. I'm so glad you came in and decided to talk to us. I'm very. I'm glad you came back and shared your story.

BarryWeisenberg: 38:45 Thank you. Thank you.

Leanne: 38:46 Like how I got in there and ask the questions this time,

BarryWeisenberg: 38:48 but you know what? It was great because last time we got to know about you and now we got to know about me and us. So very grateful to you

Leanne: 38:56 and I'm glad because being a comic and being a comedian and doing what you do, it's not always easy to find somebody who appreciates it, who understands it and not only that, but she's standing there doing your set and doing it well.

BarryWeisenberg: 39:08 Yeah, I know. And how many comics can say they have a good relationship, right?

BarryWeisenberg: 39:12 Not many.

The Girlfriend: 39:13 Not Ready, right?

Leanne: 39:14 Yeah. So well thank you so much.

BarryWeisenberg: 39:17 Okay, thank you. Thank you. Happy New Year.

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