Episode 081: He’d Rather Be In The Ring Than Wear It
Episode 81: He’d Rather Be In The Ring Than Wear It with special guest Frankie Estrella aka Mr Top Notch
Leanne and The Boyfriend discuss how jobs/careers really impact our relationships. For instance, in comedy it’s really hard to date someone who’s not a performer. Most people don’t really understand why their partner is hanging out at a bar all night. They don’t perceive that to be real work. It’s the same for many performers. They keep different hours, they’re not sitting behind a desk, it’s a very creative environment. And because it’s not really structured, it’s hard for other people to relate.
The same can be said for people with more traditional jobs. If someone works long hours, he/she may be more likely to date someone in the same field because they get it.
Meet Frankie “Mr. Top Notch” Estrella. Frankie is an Improviser, Clown Performer, Former World Power Wrestling Heavyweight and Tag Team Champion, and Host of W.T.F.E. Podcast (listen on SoundCloud). Frankie has never been married and he’s not so sure he wants to ever get married. He finds that most people end up divorced or not valuing their vows – so what’s the point? Frankie keeps late hours and works out at 2am which many women just don’t understand. Is there anyone who can change his mind other than the one and only Elvira? It will take a knockout to pin this man down.
06:35 Meet Frankie “Mr. Top Notch” Estrella. Frankie is anImproviser, Clown Performer, Former World Power Wrestling Heavyweight and Tag Team Champion, and Host of W.T.F.E. Podcast (listen on SoundCloud). Frankie hasnever been married and he’s not sosure he wants to ever get married. He finds that most people end up divorced ornot valuing their vows – so what’s the point? Frankie keeps late hours and works out at 2am which many women just don’t understand. Is there anyone who can change his mind other than the one and only Elvira? It will take a knockout to pin this man down.
Frankie and The Boyfriend start out by high-fiving each for not being married. Frankie was a wrestler for seven years before switching to hospital security. He jumped back in the ring to wrestle in Lucha Libre a few years later.
Frankie admits there were plenty of women and plenty of opportunities in the wrestling world, especially with married women. It w
ould’ve been great, but he’s not into married women. He found so many men would offer their wife to him. They would just come out andsay, “yeah, go ahead and have my wife.” And the crazy part, the women would be okay with that.
Frankie was like, “Hey I’m here to do some somersaults and cardio.” He wasn’t into the swinger scene. The men would usually be into it because they wanted to get into wrestling. Frankie even asked the women, why would you want to do that? They just were. Frankie wonders why they got married in the first place? If you’re open to being with other people, just be free.
The first four years people just kept asking and trying to convince him he should participate. They finally started respecting his boundaries about four years later. (4 years!) He really wanted to do the work. He didn’t want to get involved in the drama.
When Frankie was in a serious relationship with his high school sweetheart and thought he was destined to get married until he got some advice from his parents. His parents told him to go out and have fun. They discouraged him from getting serious. So that’s exactly what he did. They were together for six years, but he was never faithful to her.
When he was 25 he wanted to focus on wrestling. He ended up getting caught up in the Ecstasy scene and was popping pills everyday. Frankie was traveling all over and didn’t want to commit to anyone. He ended up going to a concert and injured himself in a mosh pit. It hurt his wrestling career. The gym was and still is his girlfriend and the ring was his wife.
Now he dates mostly older women. He feels they have more to talk about. Younger women don’t think about the future. Older women have experience and think about their future. His last girlfriend was in her sixties. But she turnedout to be emotionally abusive. When they first started out she was nice and wanted to spend time with him. Eventually, her jealousy really got to her and she showed another side when another girl would walk by.They were together three years. He had actually considered marrying her, but then things changed. She also started talking about having a child with him. That really turned him off because it came off wrong.
He’s just not having any luck with women his age. He feels that marriage is a locked in commitment. And if she becomes a total asshole, which happens, or vice versa, then you’re either going to break away or you’re stuck.
23:00 Frankie’s parents are still married, but the rest of the family is all divorced. Marriage is just not always going to work.
He feels that older women are more ready for marriage than he is. The women his age just want to go out and party. Frankie doesn’t want to babysit a woman when he goes out. It’s a big turnoff.
What’s he looking for? He’s always been attracted to Elvira. Age isn’t a problem for him. He really wants a connection. He wants to have meaningful conversations. It would be great to know a woman who wants to go to the gym with him. He doesn’t want to be up all night drinking and smoking. He’s just not into the party animals. How can you talk to someone who’s just wasted all the time?
28:35 Frankie relates to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s song Simple Man. He wants to keep things simple. He doesn’t want drama and kids everywhere. He doesn’t want to be that couple (that he actually knows) who gets kicked out of the bar all the time.
When Frankie does date younger women, they want him to drink and get high with them. He doesn’t want to. They feel uncomfortable because he’s sober.
Frankie also loves to karaoke. He loves going out and having a good time.
What’s next? Frankie is preparing for the world’s strongest man competition. You can follow him on Instagram to see him in action. He’s focusing on himself.
He’s dating, but the time just isn’t there right now. There is one woman that he always reconnects with. They have a lot in common, buthe’s just not ready yet.
35:45 He does improv comedy now and he meets a lot of women there.
“Make em laugh. Make em breakfast.” He gets set up by other people quite often.
If it’s not too cold, his ideal date is the beach. He’ll take a woman out to dinner or the movies. He likes walking around at the mall in the air-conditioned and they can have a conversation and he can see what she likes. He also likes
women who play video games. If she likes Galaga, we’re getting married. He LOVES this game.
The Boyfriend and Frankie share their excitement for video games for a bit. Leanne not so much.
Should she like wrestling? “If anything she should laugh at wrestling. She should watch Glow.”
She should also watch Japanese wrestling.
41:00 They start building Frankie’s ideal women. It’s kinda like what happened in Weird Science. She should look like Elvira, act like El
vira, love video games, play Gallago, watch Japanese wrestling, and Glow. Have spunk and attitude. Must be an Angel’s fan.
42:00 Frankie’s deal breakers include open relationships, STDs, Dodger’s fan, and abusive behavior. If you’re al
ways being triggered, work on that.
43:40 Frankie shares how he got clean. He had been selling and doing Ecstasy and got hooked on it. He thought he could control it. One day he was dividing up his pills. He felt terrible and looked at himself in the mirror and said
‘You’re done. You’re going to go tell your family the truth and get help.” AND he did. He went to his brother and then his parents. It was a really hard day. Frankie hadn’t slept for nearly 24 hours. He texted his dealer and said he was going to the hospital and not to give him anything even if he asked. And his dealer actually held up his end of the bargain.
“I looked at myself and I said, ‘Frank, your fucking done with this shit. You’re better than this fucking shit. You’re stronger than this shit.”
47:02 It’s a good life now. It’s different,
but it’s good. His friends know and are better about it. People are respecting his boundaries once they know. Their also surprised at how much he is sober.
48:50 One girl told him that he’s too ‘straight-edged’ for her. He was stunting her personal party growth so he let her go. Frankie’s grown and matured. So when he finally meets his idea Elvira, what does married life look like? He’s not sure. He knows that he needs to make time for her. You’re not just with her, you’re taking on her life, her problems, her friends, and her family. Your becoming the king of a kingdom and have responsibility. He knows what he wants, but he realizes that he needs to take on what she wants to. There’ll be a lot of balancing.
52:00 Whoever Frankie ends up with will have to be okay with 2am runs to the gym or having him roll out of bed and do push-ups. Just check his Facebook! You’ll see. He
works so he can live his life. He wants to do things that matter to him.
55:00 When Frankie’s in the ring, there’s no distraction – no noise. Is it the same for comedy? Frankie says it is. It’s a team effort. There are so many similarities between the two.
“The best part of improv is you feel great, you break a sweat, and no one gets kicked in the face. No one goes and spits out a tooth or gets a lump on their head.”
“Your husband’s right there. What the hell? He’s with you. Stick with that.”
“They had an open relationship… I was like, what the f?? I’m here to do some somersaults and some dropkicks.”
“I had no time for a girl, or a wife.”
“If she likes Galaga, we’re getting married!”
Frankie flatters Leanne and The Boyfriend. We like! 😉
If you can find common ground, you can talk. One of his favorite things from Lucha Libre is that he could connect with so many people. It brought people together and they had a great time. Everyone was there together and found common ground to get along.
Thank you for sharing your stories, Frankie!
Question of the week:
Tweetables:
Tweet: “Your husband’s right there. What the hell? He’s with you. Stick with that.” – Frankie Estrella ep81 #relationships #marriage #divorce #swingers #podcast #lafterthoughts
Tweet: “If she likes Galaga, we’re getting married!” – Frankie Estrella ep81 #divorce #marriage #relationships #videogames #pocast #singlelife #single #dating
Tweet: Find common ground that brings you together. – Frankie Estrella ep81 #divorce #relationships #marriage #podcast #communication #whatbringsyoutogether
Links:
Facebook: Frankie Estrella
https://www.facebook.com/frankie.estrella.315
Twitter: @MrT0pN0tch
Instagram: @lordknarf.
www.lifelafterdivorce.com
www.twitter.com/lafterdivorce
https://www.facebook.com/LifeLafterDivorce/