Episode 080: Marriage, Divorce, Narcissism, & Bipolar Disorder Part 2 of 2
Episode 80: Marriage, Divorce, Narcissism, & Bipolar Disorder Part 2 of 2 with special guest Kirsten Watson
Meet Kirsten Watson! Kirsten’s a mom, two-time divorcee, and a Long Beach Native. She shares her journey from meeting her first husband at the young age of 15 to her third husband, love, and happiness. It hasn’t been easy, but Kirsten’s grit and perseverance keep her moving forward. We learned so much from talking with her this week and hope that through her story, you know you’re not alone.
0:06 We start this episode where Kirsten started seeing Nick the Narcissist. The relationship started off fast. They had known each other for years before this – since high school. Nick got a job and moved in with Kirsten.
Within six to eight months they got into a terrible fight. Nick stopped drinking for a month, but that didn’t last. Kirsten was supporting both of them the last few months they were together. She told him to get his shit together.
00:08 Kirsten realized she was very isolated. Nick was very jealous and Kirsten wasn’t able to talk to another man without him questioning her. Nick didn’t trust her so she kept to herself. When they’d hang out with his friends and drink, Kirsten would remain quiet until they were all drunk and she could poke some fun without retaliation.
09:20 Kirsten felt humiliated and defeated. At one point she was so depressed that she tried to kill herself with Nick’s gun. Nick stopped her. Looking back, Kirsten realizes that she should never give up on herself because of someone else.
10:15 She met Wes three years ago while she was with Nick. Wes is now Kirsten’s husband. One time Wes told her that she was worth more than that and she didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
11:15 Nick is now in jail. Before that he was stalking Kirsten so she’s hoping that it doesn’t continue when he gets out.
12:00 Things are so different now. Kirsten’s new husband treats her so well and she’s so grateful. She sees things so differently these days. Being bipolar and medicated incorrectly didn’t help matters.
13:23 Kirsten has learned that it’s healthy to express her emotions. She’s also learned there are healthy ways to express them. Some days she more talkative than others. Some days she’s sad.
15:23 The biggest change in her life is learning to communicate. Communication is key. She’s learned to have the hard conversations. Her and her third husband don’t hesitate to stop each other and talk it out. They can talk about anything.
17:52 Kirsten noticed a big difference in herself when she got into a relationship with her third husband. She’s able to be open, share, and ask questions with him.
Kirsten hopes that Nick the Narcissist will leave her alone when he gets out of the detention center. She wants to move on and leave their past behind.
Kirsten is happy to say that her son and his father (her first husband – Mama’s Boy) have a great relationship . Her first husband wasn’t a great husband, but has turned into a great father. Her son currently lives with him. They still talk and get along.
Kirsten still talks to her second husband. They have a good friendship now.
She’s really learned the power of forgiveness. Kirsten knows that she truly loved her ex husbands. She had a child with her first husband and they raised a child together. Her second husband is a good person, just not a good husband for her. He has his issues and addictions. Kirsten also admits that she wasn’t always good to Mike. It wasn’t right for her to stay with him.
She forgives them for all their faults. She came clean with her truths. She hopes that they can forgive her, too. They’ve both said they’d take her back.
25:11 Kirsten has stopped using a lot of drugs and is trying to improve all areas of her life.
If someone who is in a relationship with someone who is bipolar, let them have their feelings. Don’t make them feel like they’re overreacting. Acknowledge that you hear them. Ask what they need and be understanding. If you don’t understand, ask questions. Be patient. People who have been abused and suffer from PTSD can’t “just get over it”.
Kirsten said she’d rather feel a little bit over than feel nothing. Going off meds is dangerous and she doesn’t advise it. Instead, she makes sure she has ways to take care of herself. Kirsten journals everyday. She takes notes of patterns. She reads up on bipolar disorder. The more knowledge she has, the better she can take care of herself.
Her husband is really great at noticing when she needs a break or help. They often play cards and engage in a lot of activities together. They communicate.
Kirsten and her husband are feeling good about their lives together. They’re preparing to move into a new space together. Her husband has a good job now and they look forward to opening their own business in the next year.
33:14 Kirsten believes that people can change. She knows that she has. She believes in marriage, even though she’s been married three times, she believes. She knows that she has loved them, but she changed and she’s grown.
“Don’t give up. Sometimes divorce is just a stepping stone.”
“The connection is so there in our little world. That’s why we can be around each other 24/7 and he doesn’t even get on my nerves.”
“People who take vows take them very seriously. Just because I’ve been married three times doesn’t mean when I said them I didn’t mean them. Because I did. But hearts change, people change.”
“I wish him the best, too. Even though he was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
“If you’re not happy then you need to change something. Sometimes it’s divorce.”
Question of the week: What would be possible if you could forgive the person who hurt you most in life?
Tweet: “Don’t give up. Sometimes divorce is just a stepping stone.” – Kirsten Watson ep80 #relationships #marriage #divorce #hindsightis2020 #life #changes
Tweet: “If you’re not happy then you need to change something. Sometimes it’s divorce.” -Kirsten Watson ep80 #divorce #marriage #relationships #lookingback #signs #redflags #learning #lifelessons #olderandwiser
Tweet: “I wish him the best, too. Even though he was the worst thing that ever happened to me.” – Kirsten Watson ep80 #narcissist #narcissism #gaslighting #forgiveness #selfworth #selfempowerment #movingon
Tweet: “The connection is so there in our little world. That’s why we can be around each other 24/7 and he doesn’t even get on my nerves.” – Kirsten Watson ep80 #narcissism #narcissist #gaslighting #bipolar #bipolardisorder #relationships #marriage #divorce