Episode 079: Marriage, Divorce, Narcissism, & Bipolar Disorder Part 1 of 2

By Help Person|August 7, 2018|Show notes, Uncategorized|0 comments

Episode 79: Marriage, Divorce, Narcissism, & Bipolar Disorder Part 1 of 2 with special guest Kirsten Watson

Meet Kirsten Watson! Kirsten’s a mom, two-time divorcee, and a Long Beach Native. She shares her journey from meeting her first husband at the young age of 15 to her third husband, love, and happiness. It hasn’t been easy, but Kirsten’s grit and perseverance keep her moving forward. We learned so much from talking with her this week and hope that through her story, you know you’re not alone.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quotes_ep _79_a04:45 Kirsten met her first husband when she was 15 years old. They were married a couple months before her 17th birthday. Her father gave his consent. Kirsten calls her first husband the Mama’s Boy. He was very spoiled by his family and he was also a narcissist. This all became an issue later. He cut her off from all her friends and she couldn’t even talk to another man. Kirsten didn’t want to have a baby, but he insisted. Once the baby was born, he became verbally abusive and it became violent the day she left.

07:15 Kirsten was born and raised in Long Beach. Her mother wasn’t around and she was raised by her father. By the time she got to high school she had trouble following her. She dropped out of high school and got a job at Wienerschnitzel and babysitting. Her first husband is 9 years older than her. He didn’t work for 10 years. Kirsten did get her GED at 19.

Their whole relationship was based on sex at first. After a while it developed into more and things were going really well. He had always been a bit controlling. Kirsten said communication is key, but she didn’t know it at the time. She was easy to manipulate.

“Anyone being nice to me was like, okay I’m not used to this, but I like it.”

Kirsten’s mom bet her $1000 that she would be pregnant before she was 18. Kirsten won that bet and didn’t get pregnant until a month after her birthday and made her mom paid up. Kirsten used the money to buy a purse and a new pair of shoes. Her husband spent most of it on a rifle.

Mama’s Boy also wore a $80 hoodie to their wedding. She laughs and she said she should’ve known then.

But there were some good things. Her first husband didn’t do drugs and Kristen stopped doing them while she was with him. Mama’s Boy says he’d still take her back. Every year he asks her for a blow job on his birthday. Kirsten always laughs and says “NO.”

Once she got pregnant, the baby became her focus. Mama’s Boy stopped finding her attractive which really hurt her.

After the baby, Kirsten shares how medication put 75 pounds on her. Today she is only on one low dose of medication. Thanks to her third/current husband, she’s feeling much better and doing well. She’s dropped the weight.

19:30 Kirsten’s first husband threw her birth control away once she turned 18. She didn’t have a choice. Once she got pregnant, she took good care of herself. Her husband wasn’t much help at the time of the birth. He left the room because he couldn’t handle it.

After the baby, she felt really bad and he didn’t find her attractive. His parents watched the baby while she was at work. Eventually, they got their own place in Huntington Beach. A month later Kirsten left him. She found out that he had people watching her and checking in on her. Her employer told him to stop calling. He was becoming more controlling.

23:44 She was scared to leave him. Kirsten spoke to one of her teachers from Jr High and he said she needed to make a good decision for her and her baby. Kirsten went home to leave him. He became angry and violent in front of their 18 month old son. The neighbors got involved and called the cops. Kirsten didn’t file charges because she didn’t want him to go to jail. She went to stay with her dad for a few days.

26:38 Two days later Kirsten felt like it was her fault and called Mama’s Boy.

Later she moved in with her friend Mike and they eventually ended up dating. He proposed to her, and she couldn’t say no. She appreciates that he helped her. He treated her son like he was his own. However, Kirsten was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She ended up being heavily medicated and miserable. He encouraged the heavy medications and she felt like a zombie.

Kirsten shares how her current husband is really great with her and he doesn’t keep her heavily medicated. They changed their lifestyle – she eats better, they communicate better.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quotes_ep79_b

31:51 During her second marriage (right before their 10th anniversary) Kirsten rekindled a friendship with her friend Nick (the narcissist). They drank and smoked a lot. Mike (her second husband) didn’t like it. He was picking up that Kirsten and Nick had a chemistry. Kirsten realized that she had a thing for Nick. Mike was right, and Kirsten didn’t it think it was fair to him. Although she loved Mike, she just wasn’t in love with Mike.

Mike had a pill problem and Kirsten couldn’t compete with his addiction. His habit was costing $100 a day.

Nick told her that he loved her but not in love with her, and she admitted that she was in love with him anyway. She was on a lot of medication and wanted to clear her head. So she stopped taking the meds and ended up in the hospital for a week.

Divorce_song_lyrics_ep79When Kirsten got out of the hospital she ended the marriage with Mike. He was really hurt and sad. Kirsten feels she did the right thing even though it was hard. She didn’t want to be medicated and feel like someone’s possession anymore. She wants someone who will be her equal partner.

37:58 Around the Fourth of July, things with Nick changed. He started becoming verbally abusive. Nick drank every day with his friends. This was harder on Kirsten than her being raped at knifepoint at the age of 13.

39:47 She had been fighting for her life and felt that she had no worth left. She met her third husband during this time. They became friends. “He said I’m are worth more than I’m getting and I didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

41:38 Kirsten told Nick that she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore. But things got worse. Nick decided he was going to leave, but he returned and blamed her for everything.

Click here to read about episode 80 Part 2 of 2!

Tweetables:

Tweet: He wore a $80 hoodie to their wedding. #signs #redflag #sheknewthen #welovethemanyway #relationships #marriage #divorce #lookingback #style? #hoodie #wedding #weddingattire #butitwaseightydollars

Tweet:  When you don’t know any better, you don’t know that you’re missing out. #divorce #marriage #relationships #lookingback #signs #redflags #learning #lifelessons #olderandwiser

Tweet:  Everything seems great until suddenly it isn’t. How do they do it? #narcissist #narcissism #gaslighting #chameleon #itsallpretend #lies #crazymaking #evil

Tweet:  So much to learn from Kirsten in episode 80! #narcissism #narcissist #gaslighting #bipolar #bipolardisorder #relationships #marriage #divorce

Links:

www.lifelafterdivorce.com

www.twitter.com/lafterdivorce

https://www.facebook.com/LifeLafterDivorce/

https://www.instagram.com/lifelafterdivorce/

 

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