Episode 040: Raising Kids and Growing a Business

By lifelafterdivorce|November 7, 2017|Show notes, Uncategorized|

Episode 040: Raising Kids and Growing a Business with special guest Cole Patterson

Leanne and The Boyfriend remind you to check in on the website. It’s time for some holiday shopping on our website!

Question: Should The Boyfriend have a Facebook page?

Ever notice that good things happen after a breakup? Well, maybe it takes a while, but it happens. Just like it did for today’s guest!

Meet Cole Patterson, Celebrity Men’s Grooming Expert & Skincare Specialist, has been divorced for 4.5 years and good things are happening.

Cole’s divorce took four and a half years. She and her ex-husband got caught up in fighting over the kids. She felt fearful of losing the kids which put her in fight mode. Cole admits that it became an obsession for possession of the kids. It became a competition between her and her ex. Neither of them wanted to give in when it came to money and the kids. As a woman, she just didn’t want to give him anything instead of saying let’s do what’s right for the kids.  

Cole said it took her so long to figure it out. She said she laughed so hard when it was over. She told her attorney, “you’re the only one’s who’s happy about this situation.”

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep40b_single_momHer kids were really torn during the whole process. Her youngest, who was only three at the time, seems to remember everything about the divorce. Cole’s son, who is the oldest, got very sick during the divorce. They were both impacted, but in very different ways.

They seem to be doing well now and they’ve become great communicators about their feelings. Cole sees her kids as very adaptable and resilient.

She shares how her daughter remembered so much at the age of three. Her son, on the other hand, has a different way of coping. Cole keeps the lines of communication open with her kids.

She tries to keep it real and not hide too much. She wants them to be informed and able to sort out their feelings. She has to parent each kid differently. In fact, they raise you sometimes.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep40c_single_momHer daughter is a creator and wants to save the world. Her son is logical and wants to rule the world. They teach Cole so much. Her son teaches her all about men. Her son even told her ‘I’m going to be the man of the house until you get a boyfriend OR a husband.’ And he was being very serious!

Cole references the book Getting to I do by Dr. Pat Allen, and how men express themselves differently. She thought “OMG that’s how my son is expressing his energy.” So she started changing the way she talked to him.

Her son is used to his mom working a lot, and is fine with that. It’s when the schedule changes that’s a problem. Cole shares her example of working in Miami for three months.

Cole went to Starbucks to study one afternoon. She went to the first Starbucks and it was too crowded. She went to another Starbucks and it was pretty noisy and she went back to her car to leave. She got to her car and man popped up out of nowhere. He said I have a message for you. Then he said give me three things that you are most concerned about. Write it down and then come get me. She wrote it down and and then went and found him. They ended up talking for a long time. He named all three things that she had written down without her showing him the paper or tell him. The man then warned her of two people she shouldn’t trust and said that she needed to be more creative and that he sees her name on something big.

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep40d_single_momFast forward and that’s where her name came from for the skincare line. She had originally named her product Last Looks and after she started working on her logo, it hit her. This is what needs to have her name on it. She did all her logo and branding before she had even developed her product. She went back to the drawing board a few times. It took her about one year to create and develop her product.

Entrepreneurship is a full-time gig. Cole is extremely busy running the business and learning as much as possible when it comes to marketing Social media has turned out to be time consuming! Cole laughs with her kids about always being at the computer “working for their future.”

“It’s good to go into business for yourself, but there is always such a harsh reality.”

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep40e_single_momSometimes it’s really challenging to shift gears between administrative work and creative work. It’s almost overwhelming. Running a small business can create so much anxiety. Leanne and Cole compare notes. Everyone claims they know what they’re doing, but you won’t find out until after you’ve spent the money.

Running a business and Raising kids is A LOT of work. Being a mom on-the-go, they eat out. And as Cole’s son grows, he eats more. Learn about some good restaurants in Torrance, CA.

Cole is also a director and producer and has projects coming up. She’ll be shooting a movie trailer next month.

Thinking back to the man in the Starbucks parking lot, Cole is just amazed at how accurate he was with his predictions.

Friends and your breakup. You just don’t want to talk about it.

Cole did a commercial for Cole’s Skincare for Men. She talks about doing a fashion film series and is in the process of planning that.

Cole’s advice to another divorcee:

Life_Lafter_Divorce_Quote_ep40a_single_momPut your oxygen mask on before you can assist others. Take care of yourself! Don’t feel like you’re being selfish. It’s okay. People will treat you how you treat yourself.

“It’s okay to shift and change. People fall out of love.”

“My kids are so used to me working …so they’ll see me on the computer and they’re like “oh you’re working, for our future”

“How are you going to ask someone to validate you, if you can’t validate yourself?”

“This was such a waste of time and money. I can’t believe I wasted four years of my life in just being consumed by this….It was so ridiculous…It was laughable.”


Our favorite moments:

04:24 Meet Cole Patterson

06:22 Possession of the kids

16:50 The kids will be fine. Right?

30:30 Life as a working mom

35:05 Strange man in Starbucks parking lot

39:00 Creating Cole’s Skincare for Men

43:15 Social media, ugh

46:45 Being creative

53:00 When the kids are gone


Question of the Week:  “Looking back at your divorce, children aside, what things do you wish you wouldn’t have wasted time/money fighting over?”


What you’ll learn:

  • Sometimes parents just fight during a divorce for the sake of fighting
  • Kids are more observant than you may think
  • There are a few really good restaurant in Torrance, CA


What you won’t learn:

  • The difference between a cleanser and a toner
  • How to do social media
  • The Boyfriend’s true identity



Tweet: You can’t take care of anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself Ep40 #lifelafterdivorce #singleparent #divorce #podcast

Tweet: When was your last life-changing conversation? Ep40 #Marriage #divorce #kids #selfcare #parents #communication #podcast

Tweet: Is it more important to fight or just be done with the divorce? Ep40 #divorce #choices #selfcare #lifelafterdivorce #podcast

Tweet: Kids are more observant than we think. Ep40 #Divorce #coparenting #singleparent #childrenofdivorce #kids

Tweet: My divorce cost as much as sending my kids on 16 Europeon vacations Ep40 #divorce #marriage #podcast #money





Facebook: Coleskincareformen


Twitter: ColeSCforMen

LinkedIn: Cole Patterson


Instagram: Coleskincareformen

Getting to I do by Dr. Pat Allen






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