Episode 004: Losing My Religion

By lifelafterdivorce|February 28, 2017|Show notes, Uncategorized|

Episode 004: Losing My Religion (and getting a divorce) with special guest Derick Whaley

Are we ever prepared to find out someone cheated on us? We explore this and much more with Comedian Derrick Whaley, who shares his thoughts on religion and its impact on his relationships.

LLD episode 4 with Derick Whaley

What do you do when someone cheats on you? I always think, “oh I’d do this” or “I’d do that.” But when it comes down to it, I don’t do any this or that. I just move on. The Boyfriend admits to burning letters that his ex sent him. He hasn’t burned items that didn’t belong to him. As I think back, I have shredded pictures and even burned a few. We both agree that it’s more of a cleansing action, and not so much about getting back at the other person. However, I’ve thought about getting back at someone. I’ve even researched the effects of itching powder on Amazon. I’ll even admit that I did use an ex-boyfriends shirt to clean my toilet before giving it back to him. However, I’ve never acted out and did really mean things, and I’m glad to hear that The Boyfriend hasn’t either. We both usually just want to get away and move on. One thing we didn’t think of was apologizing…

So it was interesting and very entertaining to talk to our guest Derick Whaley, comedian and recent transplant in Irvine, CA. He’s a military kid and originally from Talladega, Alabama, Yes, the Talladega. And moved to sunny California via South Carolina. He had moved to South Carolina right after high school to attend Bible College. He and his wife met and married after eight months of dating and were together a total of eight years. They’ve been divorced for five, and he felt he was over the hump about a month in (the marriage and the divorce). He was only eighteen when she proposed to him. She felt the relationship needed to be serious and if wasn’t going in that direction they needed to end it. He didn’t want to see her cry so he agreed.

Derick’s dad is a pastor, and they were all very involved in the church so they decided to have a big church wedding. Oddly enough, Derick didn’t grow up in the church. He joined when he was fourteen and is responsible for getting his parents involved.

Derick and his wife didn’t have kids. After they were married Derick learned his wife had had some trust issues. There weren’t big issues until the end. The first big issues arose when Derick’s grandfather died and he was having a hard time dealing with it. He felt like talking to his wife would be too much for stress for her and instead he went to a mutual female friend. Looking back, that was a pretty dumb thing to do.

Later it seemed that things went back to normal, but that wasn’t the case. His wife wasn’t working and Derick was busy trying to make ends meet. It was stressful. Derick began to notice another man by the name of Mitch Cumstein was commenting and putting cute emojis on several of his wives Facebook posts. The fact that she was even friends with someone with a name like Mitch Cumstein was baffling, as his wife was super conservative. He asked her about it. She said, “Oh it’s nobody.” Then, one night when she and Derrick are sitting on the couch, she’s texting and being vague. An hour later she was still texting so he asked about it again and discovered it was a guy. She said his name was Brad.

A few weeks later Derick sat down at the computer and after a little research, learned that Brad is really Mitch Cumstein. Derick was upset. He discovered his wife had changed her Facebook password so he logged into her Yahoo email. That’s how he discovered she was having an affair.

Derick read that his wife and Brad were going to meet up in the park that weekend. Derick called his wife and invited her to the same place at the same time. She immediately realized that he had gotten into her email and admitted she was having an affair.

Derick had asked her about all of this before, but she said she was having feelings for another guy at work, but nothing had transpired. She and Derick talked about it and she said she’d be honest if anything transpired. She didn’t follow through on her promise until Derick confronted her.

Their divorce was surprisingly clean, and they didn’t get divorced right away. She was afraid Derick would take her to court and it would put Brad out of a job. They agreed to wait a year.

Derick says, “It’s really immature, but I did challenge him to a cage fight at one point.” There was a wing place that had cage fights in the parking lot once a month. Derick believes he would’ve won.

Instead, Derick started comedy. He had always wanted to pursue comedy and decided to go for it after a night of ranting about his divorce to his friends and making them laugh.

After all that’s been done, Derick decided to call his ex-wife and apologize. He felt it was the right thing to do.

In case you’re wondering, his ex is still with Brad/Mitch Cumstein. Derick’s okay with that and guesses that Brad/Mitch has probably has fucked her over, too. By the way, Derick would’ve won a ford focus in the cage match.

“I didn’t realize how white trash this story sounded until I said it all into a microphone.” ~ Derick

Thinking of trashy things, Derick’s late grandfather made him eat a squirrel once. Was it good? No.

Derick met his current girlfriend at Reddit Meetup, and they’ve been together five years.

He dated a few others but didn’t want to get too serious right away and called it off. When he met his current girlfriend, things just clicked despite him leaving his debit card in the car so she had to pay.

Will Derick get married again? They might just have a party instead.

What you’ll learn:

  • Talladega is a real place
  • A little bit about the Pentecostal Church
  • Bible College is a real thing
  • Mitch Cumstein is not his real name
  • What squirrel tastes like
  • There’s a wing place you can challenge people to a cage match in S Carolina

What you won’t learn:

  • About the Bible
  • How to charm a snake
  • The Boyfriend’s true identity

Our favorite moments:

@ 05:32 Meet Derrick Whaley

@ 09:05 The Pentecostal Church & Bible College

@13:19 Trust issues

@14:00 The beginning of the end

@17.25 Meet Mitch Cumstein

@20:28 The truth

@23:53 Derrick challenges Mitch Cumstein to a cage fight

@27:41 They’re still together!

@29:45 Derrick does comedy

@30:25 Cage match prize ideas

@32:24 I hadn’t realized how white trashy this story was

@32:47 I did eat a squirrel once

@32:22 Reddit Meetup

@40:37 Nobody shows up to Reddit meetups

@42:32 Chronic Taco

@46:41 What’s next?


“I had been noticing on her Facebook that this guy was commenting and his name was Mitch Cumstein.”

“It’s really immature, but I did actually challenge him to a cage fight at one point” …I’ll fight him for the f’n car…”


Tweet: Getting married was better than seeing my girlfriend cry Ep 4 @lafterdivorce #divorce #marriage #whoscryingnow

Tweet: When in doubt challenge the other man to a cage fight Ep 4 @lafterdivorce #cagefight #winning #divorce

Tweet: Beware of people with fake names and cute emojis on your wife’s FB page @lafterdivorce #facebook #divorce #redflag

Tweet: Dating after divorce? Consider a Reddit Meetup @lafterdivorce #divorce #dating #options #nobodyshowsuptoredditmeetups









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